EARTH—Following the recent earthquake and tsunami that tragically took the lives of an estimated 20,000 Japanese citizens, the planet Earth was afforded a good 15 minutes during which its inhabitants behaved like actual human beings, sources reported.

In the quarter-hour that followed news of the massive natural disaster obliterating entire towns and killing or injuring thousands of innocent men, women, and children, social scientists around the globe reported rare—and in many cases unprecedented—occurrences of individuals feeling genuine empathy for their fellow humans, recognizing the evanescence of life, and experiencing a deep sense of awe and humility toward the overwhelming power of nature.

After the 900 seconds had passed, however, this behavior reportedly ceased.

“Though its duration was incredibly brief, in this span of time the entire human race was able to temporarily forget all its petty political interests, narcissism, greed, and ironic detachment for a few moments and behave like real people with compassion and respect,” social scientist Dr. Robert Westbrook said of the short-lived burst of basic decency. “There is no evidence of any significant bickering, lying, preening, or self-involvement during this period. In fact, it appears that all 6.7 billion human beings simply stopped for one quarter of an hour, became filled with genuine emotion, and said, ‘Oh, no, those poor people,’ while keeping their baser instincts in check.”

“That they instantly went back to being needy, solipsistic whiners does not change the fact that, for a fleeting moment, the world was a wholly humane and gentle place,” Westbrook added.

According to experts, immediately after the 15 minutes were over, the vast majority of the Earth’s people seemed to move on from the harrowing, incomprehensibly tragic event, and have spent the subsequent time attempting to get ahead in their careers, ignoring the plight of those desperately in need, thinking solely of themselves, and acting how they generally act at all times throughout their lives.

A sizable number of human beings around the planet were reportedly able to negate the sympathy and goodwill they had just exhibited toward Japan by moments later getting into an uninformed argument about the efficacy of nuclear power, making a crude Godzilla-related joke on their Twitter or Facebook page, or telling themselves they didn’t even know these people so it wasn’t really worth getting too upset about.

via Deaths Of 20,000 Japanese Afford Planet Solid 15 Minutes In Which Everyone Acts Like A Human Being | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.

I like my power cheap and reliable, as we all do, but please could we find some way other than nuclear fission? It just seems so… vulnerable. Especially in areas where the surface of the planet is unstable. In Japan, it seems there has already been at least a partial meltdown of some sort, although information is sketchy. What is a meltdown? From PopSci:

What people mean when they say “meltdown” can refer to several different things, all likely coming after a hydrogen explosion. A “full meltdown” has a more generally accepted definition than, say, a “partial meltdown.” A full meltdown is a worst-case scenario: The zirconium alloy fuel rods and the fuel itself, along with whatever machinery is left in the nuclear core, will melt into a lava-like material known as corium. Corium is deeply nasty stuff, capable of burning right through the concrete containment vessel thanks to its prodigious heat and chemical force, and when all that supercharged nuclear matter gets together, it can actually restart the fission process, except at a totally uncontrollable rate. A breach of the containment vessel could lead to the release of all the awful radioactive junk the containment vessel was built to contain in the first place, which could lead to your basic Chernobyl-style destruction.

The problem with a full meltdown is that it’s usually the end result of a whole boatload of other chaos–explosions, fires, general destruction. Even at Chernobyl, which (unbelievably, in retrospect) had no containment building at all, the damage was caused mostly by the destruction of the plant by explosion and a graphite fire which allowed the corium to escape to the outside world, not the physical melting of the nuclear core.

Over the weekend, Chief Cabinet Secretary Yukio Edano somewhat hesitatingly confirmed a “partial” meltdown. What does that mean? Nobody knows! The New York Times notes that a “partial” meltdown doesn’t actually need to have any melting involved to qualify it as such–it could simply mean the fuel rods have been un-cooled long enough to corrode and crack, which given the hydrogen explosion, we know has already happened. But we’d advise against putting too much stock in any term relating to “meltdown”–it’ll be much more informative to find out what’s actually going on, rather than relying on a vague blanket term.

As TEPCO grapples with the damage the earthquake and tsunami did to the nuclear system, there’s going to be lots of news–there could be more explosions, mass evacuations, and more “meltdowns” of one kind or another. All we can do is learn about what’s going on, think calmly about the situation, and hope that TEPCO can eventually regain control of the plants.

Adam said that the guys who had to go into Chernobyl to literally clear up the mess were dead within a week. The man on the BBC said this cannot become as bad as Chernobyl, which is a slight relief. Corium… nasty… hope it doesn’t come to that.

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Yoga at 0500
1 km swim this eve
Steps: 4921