Each year during the staff week we have a day for hiking then go out for a meal in the evening. After some thought, Gary decided it was too dangerous to take us up the the snow and ice, as we don’t have the safety equipment and experience. Instead we walked on the lower fells and valleys, from 0930 until 1600, with occasional breaks and a lunch sheltering from the wind on the low fells. The sun came out:
I’m not exactly sure of the route we took, for once happy to be guided and not be consulting the map to choose directions. We started directly from Yewfield because of black ice, James and I enjoyed slides on the driveway while people got ready. Do groups ever manage to leave on time? I don’t think I have ever experienced it. This time people coming down at the leaving time then fussing over laces and gaiters. From Tarn Hows we headed to Holme Fell (I think it was):
Fine views to Weatherlam and The Langdales and east towards Hellvelyn where someone died this week:
We passed by these camouflaged hairy friends:
And Colwith Force:
Then back over High Arnside and to Yewfield before dusk:
Here are all the hikers, near the start of the walk. About two thirds of the staff who came to Yewfield hiked:
This evening we went to Zeffirellis in Ambleside – for me mushrooms then vegetarian rissoles. Why do restaurants feel the need to put sugar in almost everything? The bread with the mushrooms was too sweet and so was the tomato sauce with the rissoles. Sugar is good for no one. But the company was good, sitting with Christine, Adrian, Mark, Mo and Fran.
One quarter of US teens and children take prescription drugs regularly:
These days, the medicine cabinet is truly a family affair. More than a quarter of U.S. kids and teens are taking a medication on a chronic basis, according to Medco Health Solutions Inc., the biggest U.S. pharmacy-benefit manager with around 65 million members. Nearly 7% are on two or more such drugs, based on the company’s database figures for 2009.
Doctors and parents warn that prescribing medications to children can be problematic. There is limited research available about many drugs’ effects in kids. And health-care providers and families need to be vigilant to assess the medicines’ impact, both intended and not. Although the effects of some medications, like cholesterol-lowering statins, have been extensively researched in adults, the consequences of using such drugs for the bulk of a patient’s lifespan are little understood.
Review day on the yoga course, so 14 different postures with variations to work through. Somewhat rushed as the alarm woke me from deep dreams and I couldn’t quite get up. Another night of great energy and not very much sleepiness until late.
Quiet meeting for half an hour, watching the dawn from the window, and the fire. DVD about listening and relationship to the students and is there any if we have images/can’t listen.
Another great walk, from Tarn Hows down to Coniston Water, climbing back up the valley.
Some very icy conditions, making me slightly concerned about the high level walk tomorrow. Not for myself but for those less steady and without good boots.
Tired all day, and I was much more relaxed during a fairly quiet dialogue this afternoon
My point in the dialogue this afternoon is this: do we need to spend quite so much time on teaching curriculum subjects? A lot of effort goes into teaching a multitude of subjects and yet we state academics are not really the main focus of the school, but rather to bring about a different human being, one free from fear, who is able to question. So, couldn’t and shouldn’t some of the time that is given to studying the world in all the subjects be handed over to the radical inquiry of the human condition?
…
Instead of a hike quite a few of us went into Ambleside for the hiking gear sales. It’s a small town but there must be at least twenty outdoor equipment shops, most with sales on. I got a merino wool base layer top to replace the synthetic one I was given a few years ago. It’s made by Red Ram. ‘Base Layer’ = posh name for thermal underwear. I wanted to get some Teko socks – organic merino wool, recycled plastics, made in a wind-powered factory – but they didn’t have any of my size. On the way to Ambleside the minibus slid on the icy road and we skidded into the verge. Luckily we were able to push it back to road.
…
It’s warmer in the house now, and very cosy sitting by the open fire.
The first full day of the Yewfield retreat. The daily schedule:
0800 Silent meeting
0830 Breakfast
0915 Cleaning
0945 Krishnamurti video
1100 Hiking
1300 Lunch
1500 Silent meeting
1530 Dialogue
1700 Cooking for some
1930 Supper
The hike was very enjoyable, and the sun shone for the first time in what seems like weeks. We hiked an hour over to Black Crag, a rocky hill at about 330 meters. Fine views to Windermere, Hawkshead, Conitston Water, the Irish sea in the far distance, and to the north, the southern fells including The Old Man of Coniston, Weatherlam, Langdale Pikes, Hellvelyn. We returned via a frozen Tarn Hows. Back for a lunch of leek and potato soup.
View over Windermere:
The dialogue was on the communication of another kind of learning of the inner life of man, instead of just on outward achievement. We ventured slowly to talk about the hold of apparent security over us all and how even though we know there really is no security it is so powerful, and why that might be.
We were the cooking team this evening , where Hersha led Derwent, Bill, Fran and I through cooking a south Indian curry and dhal, with some kind of milk and wheat desert. I only had a little of the spicy vegetables because the spices send me buzzing and the taste lingers in the mouth for days as well as the smell on the skin. But it was quite mild.
I woke in the night, clear, awake, fresh, very present. And didn’t go back to sleep all night, but for a few drifts during yoga nidra. A gentle day six of the yoga course this morning.
When the room is stale, you open a window and let the clean air in. The lungs get stale too. After a night’s sleep the air at the base of the lungs is rather old and needs refreshing. The complete breath is the equivalent of opening a window, except you can reach the whole of the lungs within a few breaths.
Sitting, lying or standing, exhale fully without strain and relax the body. As you inhale, expand the belly allowing air into the bottom of the lungs. As the inhale continues, feel the ribcage expanding. Continue the inhalation into the clavicles and raise the shoulders. At the full extent, hold for five seconds then gently release, exhaling from the shoulders, the chest and lastly the abdomen. A squeeze of the bellybutton towards the spine as the diaphragm lifts in and up, will expel the last of the stale air. You may taste or smell it as it leaves. Continue these full breaths five times, and whenever you feel like a break during the day.
We left Brockwood at about 1015, 19 staff members in three vehicles. I drove the minibus, with Mark as co-driver. The journey was without incident, but for my heading south on the M40 instead of north. It took five miles before I reached a roundabout to about face. Mark was trying a new satnav. It wasn’t much good. It didn’t seem to know about services so when we’d stop for breaks it tried to recalculated the route. And then near Kendal it tried to take us who knows where, towards Barrow. We weren’t impressed with this Garmin.
I like the Lake District. Who doesn’t? We are staying at a large guest house belonging to a Brockwood Trustee. He also owns a cinema and two vegetarian restaurants in Ambleside. I’m in a particularly floral room:
How many flowers can you fit? Even the wardrobe has the same material on the doors. And the mirror surround. It’s cold in here, the room probably not having been used since before Christmas. They apologised for the radiator not having been turned on, like every year. It’s the 8th time I’ve been here for a staff week. The first time I came to Yewfield was when working at the youth hostel in Coniston, down the road a few miles. Raman was showing Krishnamurti videos here sometimes, and I hiked up the hill, returning through the moonlight with Consiton Water stretched out below.
Q: How many lakes does the Lake District have?
A: The Lake District only has one lake. The others are all something-or-other Water, or Tarn, or -mere. Buttermere. What a fab name. The only lake is Bassenthwaite Lake, in the north. Looking at the map, some other nice names right near Yewfield: Bettyfold, Keen Ground, Bobbin Mill. Ah, the Lake District! I can’t wait to take a walk, and maybe a skeet tomorrow. Now to the warm open fire downstairs…
Last night I began packing for the Lake District staff week. So far: ice skates. Then lay down and listened to music until sleepy, again lots of energy coursing through my body. It doesn’t make me jump and twitch and shake like it used to; the channels are clearer. Following a beat, a refrain, a melody took me on many journeys. Just stay with it and music can be magical, not just a distraction or entertainment.
Yoga this morning, a review day of the eight postures learnt so far in the course. The first four days of sustained practice are very familiar to me – the loosening up of the body, unwinding tensions, increased energy, greater awareness. It’s now that things get interesting and less predictable as these trends continue. While sitting I searched for the sick feeling of the last few days but only sensed traces of it. Often as thoughts ceased there was an immense presence of now, a pervasive energy tangible yet non-personal.
Back at work my lower back feels much stronger and I am sitting straighter. I feel it loosening up, too. I firmly believe yoga is the best prevention for back troubles. After all, most back pain is initially caused by weak back muscles. Look after your back – stretch. Gently.
WordPress are promoting postaday2011 (or postaweek2011). Today’s theme is: Share something that makes you smile. This works for me every time (although I do feel a little sorry for him, poor little blighter):
Perhaps even better, the remix:
Right, on with the packing, and laundry. Hoping for more anti-zap.
With the tables and chairs removed so the floor can be done, the dining room looks and feels amazing. It highlights the structure and architectural features. Check out the unique fireplace. Really this isn’t a dining room but a hall.
With all the guests having left yesterday, the Centre closed it’s door for a month, as it does each year. This gives staff time for holidays and for essential maintenance to the building.
Why are you unhappy?
Because 99.9 per cent
Of everything you think,
And of everything you do,
Is for yourself —
And there isn’t one.
~ Wei Wu Wei
Again some mighty weirdness during the night. Does anyone really understand what happens to consciousness during the night?
I definitely need to sleep longer during the winter; the 0730 alarm felt like 0530 and that’s after going to bed around 2200. After a wash and brushing teeth I continued with the 28 day yoga course. The addition of supine twists and standing hip rolls brought the emphasis to the waist and lumbar spine.
Sitting afterwards it is clear that awareness doesn’t need ‘doing’, and any direction, choice or purpose in the awareness prevents natural occurrences unfolding and expressing. The prevention of this is what I have been trying to do all this time and limits existence, but seems safer that way. In sitting quietly, the subtleties of this controlling become apparent and can be understood.
Some snow in the air this morning and a few flakes falling as I walked to lunch. The school is still very quiet, with less than ten people eating pizza at the kitchen the table, quite cosy. The scrap metal man gave us a pack of beers as a thank you. I guess he doesn’t know Brockwood very well. Or maybe he does. Some more snow in tiny flakes this afternoon, like dandruff from hair clouds.
Before work in the afternoon, reading an article in the New York Times, as the Bank of America braces itself for possible postings on Wikileaks. They haven’t been mentioned by name, but when Assange said he has evidence to ‘bring down a bank or two’ it is suspected Bank of America is involved:
That Mr. Assange might shift his attention to a private company — especially one as politically unpopular as Bank of America or any of its rivals, which have been stained by taxpayer-financed bailouts and the revelation of improper foreclosure practices — raises a new kind of corporate threat, combining elements of law, technology, public policy, politics and public relations.
“This is a significant moment, and Bank of America has to get out in front of it,” said Richard S. Levick, a veteran crisis communications expert. “Corporate America needs to look at what happens here, and how Bank of America handles it.”
I am working on the transcripts of Krishnamurti and David Bohm in 1975, a series of twelve conversations they had together. Bohm does well to draw out precise meaning from K, while the two of them explore deeply the questions of what is truth, actuality, the limits of thought and the nature of desire. Bohm has the tendency to describe while K tends to unfold and both of them together sustain a serious inquiry into the most important subjects. I am on the last transcript now; here’s some extracts:
David Bohm: Desire includes belief and hope. That is, belief amounts to accepting something as correct because you desire it to be so – because otherwise you have no proof, you see – and hope is just simply the belief that what you desire is going to be realised. So all three are one and the same. I think belief is in some ways more deceptive than plain desire.
…
DB: Self-deception: I believe that I am the same as something greater because I feel better.
…
DB: The point is that we can’t go on with desire [leading our actions]. I mean, if we do our society will be destroyed.
…
DB: Thought tends to think that consciousness is a manifestation of a being or an entity who is deeper.
K: Yes.
DB: Who is not only thinking, but thinking correctly, more or less, and who is also seeing, who is perceiving, his thinking is describing his perception, and who is also experiencing, you see. I think that’s important. That gives a sense of reality that this being is the experiencer who is experiencing the sensations.
K: Quite.
DB: And all that makes the thing very real, a reality independent of thought. If all that were not present then the sensations would not be regarded as all that important by thought. Thought is now trying to produce a better set of sensations in order to make you feel better, you see, the state of…
K: Yes – better sensation, more sensation.
DB: More and better. It doesn’t want worse, you see. (Laughs)
K: (Laughs) Yes.
DB: Now, you see, that’s an inherently crazy activity, because the only point or function of the sensations is to give you some factual information. And if thought tries to make them better it can no longer give you any information, you see. And the whole thing anyway is self-contradictory because that very attempt cannot be kept under control, and so on.
…
K: So we come back to the point: the content of one’s consciousness is the product of desire.
DB: Well, in general.
K: Yes, apart from the knowledge, functional knowledge, the rest of it is the movement and the accumulation of sensations and desires.
DB: Yes, it’s some sort of imprints which contain the records of all that and the instructions to produce them again.
K: Yes, yes – again. Memory.
DB: Yes. It gets stronger and stronger.
K: Yes. Now, can that movement of desire come to an end? Should it come to an end?
DB: Well, it seems from what we have said that it should.
K: But I mean, all the religions though they say this, yet they become monks in order to identify – you follow?
DB: But I think that’s the self deceptive nature of desire. You see, one thing that happens when the brain begins to see the destructive nature of desire, it begins to think, ‘I would rather not have desire.’
K: Yes.
DB: But it begins to desire a state of non-desire, you see.
K: Yes, that’s right, that’s right, that’s right. Desires a state of non-desire.
DB: And therefore the whole thing is silly, you see.
K: Of course.
DB: And desire has this self-deceptive nature – I can desire not to be conscious that I have desire, you see, and therefore that will vanish from my consciousness and I will have no desires. (Laughs)
K: So our question is: can desire, which brings illusion, self-deception, and all the complications of objective, changing desires – can the root of the desire be dissipated? I think it is only then that you see what is truth.
DB: Well, I mean, that is very clear to me. As long as there is desire nothing can be done.
K: Nothing can be done – absolutely. You see, sir, but it’s very difficult because most people think desire is necessary to live.
DB: Yes, I know that. That’s part of our tradition.
K: Now, is it possible to eliminate altogether desire?
…
Unfolding the laundry from the tumble drier, it was mega-charged with static. A little fluffy pad that somehow got in the laundry leapt from C’s hand to the clothes. I then tried to video it as a magic trick but it didn’t turn out like that. We discovered ‘anti-zap’!
Was full of energy last night and wasn’t sleepy until after midnight. I then slept until gone 0900 with some drama filled dreams of which I can’t remember. It’s rare that my dreams don’t contain trouble of some sort. Last night’s were tinged with the remnants of Winter’s Bone.
We spent the morning on another driving session. Again, a big improvement. C felt like a driver rather than a learner, and I didn’t do much of that pressing on the floor when I feel out of control in the passenger seat. We stopped at Sparsholt, out the other side of Winchester to take a walk in the countryside, passing through the grounds of Lainston House, a fine country house built in 1700. It’s now a hotel, it’s residents including Ricky Gervais and Sting (who maybe shared a suite).
Veggie stew for lunch, then a little sleep. Skimmed through The Magicians from last night’s TV. This street magic trick with Mr Banjo of Diversity had me wondering:
I suppose the bench isn’t really a bench, or he’s lying on a ledge behind the back rest. Or it’s just, even more boringly, videoshopping and stooges. On the whole the programme made Derren Brown look like a sublime genius.
Imagine the whole of France and Germany flooded – that’s what’s happened in Australia. Worse floods on record. This is why they call it climate change not global warming. Weather patterns are getting more and more unpredictable and extreme. More to come no doubt.
Yoga around 1700 for an hour, with 15 mins sitting. A basic class with Triangle, chest openers, cobra, seated forward bend. During the sitting I felt a sick dizziness close by that seemed to be generating the ceaseless thinking. I went towards this sickness and was engulfed in a kind of drunk haze, yet was somehow surprised to find that I was still sitting still and straight.
Watched some of Countryfile for the part with the Severn Bore, a small tidal wave that channels up the narrowing estuary on the spring tide. The record for riding it continuously is 7.5 miles, but the daft presenter only manages a little surf.
Later, watched Salt, in which the lady with the big eyes, pouty lips and cutest nose prevents nuclear Armageddon in a rather brutal and twisty manner, with a hint of Bourne.
Woke in the night when C made a sound like a small cry in her sleep. Stayed awake for a few hours listening to music on shuffle. A few spine releases like used to happen ten years ago, and on and off since. I felt tense and troubled, which eased as the night went on. Drifted back into sleep as I stayed with any sharpness I felt in my consciousness and awoke after light.
A leisurely new year’s morning. Watched some online videos including:
C’s third driving session with me was much improved, her nerves holding as we approached trickier and unpredictable situations. I think she has a good chance of passing later in the month.
Home for reheated homemade wheat free pizza for lunch, then watching Everest youtubes about the 1996 disasters. That South African team were nuts, right? The participants in the film were talking about the same storm as the Into Thin Air book, as well as other incidents on that deathly year.
Had a snooze, read some Word magazine then some yoga on my new prAna ECO mat. Thought of starting the 8 week Rodney Yee course but suddenly preferred the same Hittleman one I began last year with. Was glad to be on the mat again but it’s hard to ‘stop’ and simply stretch. Afterwards sat for 15 mins and breathed.
Played some Draw My Thing using C’s graphics pad but got bored playing against probably 10 year olds. Had some smoothie with yoghurt and oats and granola then some peppers and aubergine C fried up.
Watched Winter’s Bone which was compelling and tense and desperate yet full of integrity. Then a little Robert Anton Wilson on reality tunnels and quantum physics. That’s the sort of media I’d really like to interact with this year. (See other post)
What’s really real? How we describe reality, in everyday language, in religion, in science, tells as much about our minds as it does about what we are describing. The tendency to act on the basis of ‘naive realism’ is prevalent historically and today, believing what we experience is truth when it is only a model, a ‘reality tunnel’. Philosophers and sages have pointed this out yet we still fight each other because of our rigid religious views.
The audio quality of the video improves as it goes on:
Upon which I will be spending a lot of time this year.
Previously I had the prAna Revolution but I found it too cumbersome to carry and cold to the touch. This one is much warmer and more cosy. I also didn’t need the huge size of the Revolution.
Falling Awake 