Didn’t want to get up into the cold tower room at 7. Could have slept for a few more hours. But we are on our staff week and there’s set breakfast times and our group are on cleanup after each meal today. So that, rather than anything like the love of life, got me out of bed this morning. What is that motive to get up? A fearful ‘should’, or a genuine interest in the day ahead? What is your first thought on waking?

In cobra, from the final position, after sustaining it several breaths, gently bend the elbows a little and slowly turn to look at your right foot for a few breaths, inhale back to centre, pressing up into the final pose, then repeat the twist the left side. I find this gets right in under and around the shoulder blades; a lovely stretch.

Hittleman:

Upon conclusion, sit quietly and focus your full attention on how you feel. What effect have these profound physical movements had upon your organism? What is your body saying to you? … This is an exercise in feeling, not thinking.

Krishnamurti, Book of Life, 11 Jan:

There is no learning if thought originates from conclusions.

Yoga this morning in the Tower Suite of Yewfield Guest House in the Lake District. New postures on the course today are the Locust and Side Bend. It was very cold – didn’t want to get out of bed. The northeast wind whistling past my elevated position.

Hittleman:

Most people are finding it more and more difficult to let go even when they are supposed to be relaxing and having a good time. This is because all of the anxious and irritating experiences that have piled up during the day refuse to take a temporary leave. You cannot relax on-cue. Consequently it is not relaxation that is sought, but rather escape, and the result is that tons of drugs and oceans of alcoholic drinks are now consumed each year.

Krishnamurti, from Book of Life, 10 January:

Doesn’t learning imply something new, something that I don’t know, and am learning? If I am merely adding to what I already know, it is no longer learning.

We are on our annual staff week. After breakfast we listened to an audio recording of J. Krishnamurti, from 1979, speaking about prejudice, the known, ideas and the blocking of direct perception. Then a walk to Tarn Hows. I went ice skating on the frozen lake.

Thermal underwear on.

Mind all over the place, thinking about this and that, random remembrances popping in, all the while the body is doing its stretches. Could have done with a couple more hours sleep; I think I was still dreaming as I practised. What is a daydream?

Day 7, full cobra and increased seated forward fold. The yoga takes about half an hour each morning, plus sitting time afterwards. Stiff after clearing a tree yesterday that had fallen across the lane at Dell.

Minus eight celcius again this morning when I left the chickens out. They are very tentative as they leave the warm coop, standing on the plank, eating snow, and not moving very far. It took one a few minutes to jump off the gangway, standing on the edge in a ‘do I, don’t I?’ diving board type of situation. She did, then ran over to the feeder. Glad the small wild birds have also found the grain pellets there. We are deep in snow; the most I’ve seen since a child. All looks ballooned and clean, apart from the poos.

Hittleman on the modern condition: “tense, irritable, overweight, flabby, depressed, and complaining of many aches and pains.” And this in 1969. Has it got any better?

Yoga is the perfect answer since only a brief, enjoyable period is necessary to overcome tension on a daily basis. Yoga will not drain energy; it’s movements are pleasant and stimulating.

Krishnamurti, Book of Life, 7 Jan:

You are listening to yourself and not the speaker. If you are listening to the speaker, he becomes your leader, your way to understanding – which is a horror, an abomination, because you have established the hierarchy of authority.

The deepest snow outside I’ve seen in the UK since I was young. Outside is white with a hint of… mauve.

Exploring sitting still after asana. I feel a definite energy generated or stimulated by the yoga practice, and it is interesting to sit still and feel that, and feel its movement. It starts around the solar plexus, a tingly, unsettled, intense energy. There is resistance, and this resistance is the clue, the learning, the chance of undoing.

Today the introduction of the funniest pose, the lion. Roar! And a preliminary headstand.

Hittleman:

Tension is a tightness or a squeezing that occurs in the organism mentally, emotionally or physically.

Krishnamurti, Book of Life, 6 January:

You will find that the more you listen to everything, the greater is the silence, and that silence is not broken by noise

No asana this morning, today’s class (in-a-book) being all about breath. Practising the complete breath, also known as dirgha breath or full yogic breath. Just what I needed today, slow breaths filling the body from abdomen, chest and into the shoulders, holding for five then a full emptying. Stale air is extracted and the lungs are used to their full capacity, allowing more oxygen into the system. Not to mention prana, chi, life force, energy. Oops, I mentioned it. The movement of the diaphragm and abdomen allows for a gentle massage of the abdominal organs. Nice way to start a day, smooth and steady. I bring full breathing into my day whenever I have the possibility.

I’m teaching my first asana class this afternoon!

From Hittleman:

You will experience a very immediate, positive effect on your emotions and mind from yogic breathing. When breath is slow and rhythmic, anxieties and tensions lessen or dissolve completely.

Krishnamurti, Book of Life, 5th January:

If you would listen… in the sense of being aware of your conflicts and contradictions without forcing them into any particular pattern of thought, perhaps they might altogether cease. You see, we are constantly trying to be this or that, to achieve a particular state, to capture one kind of experience and avoid another, so the mind is everlastingly occupied with something; it is never still to listen to the noise of its own struggles and pains.

A little easier today, a little less rushed, and in the warmer living room. Every fourth day is a review day, going over the postures learnt over the previous three days. My back is opening up again, less tight, and I am appreciating being able to bend forward and look behind me without a creaky oh-oh. Results do not come suddenly but are accumulated almost without realisation.

So far I have had the possibility to go back to bed after the early morning start, but today… work!

Hittleman:

The movements are performed in relaxing, slow motion with very few repetitions. No strain should ever be felt and the practice sessions leave you feeling elevated and revitalised, not drained.

Krishnamurti (from Book of Life):

It is only when you listen without the idea, without thought, that you are directly in contact; and being in contact you will understand whether what is said is true or false; you do not have to discuss.

An impatient session, like I wanted to get to something else, something later in the day. These sessions tend to feel rushed although they take the same amount of time, an unsettled stretch. But not trying to slow it down, just practicing as I am. And sitting at the end, the urges become so very apparent. And the beauty of it is I an not going anywhere, I am sitting still, not doing anything, no matter how I’m feeling. This strong nervous energy generated, felt, at the solar plexus. Breathing with it.

Hittleman has six different postures each day for the beginning of the course, learning them in some detail then repetitions of each, followed by a flow of all six. From his Thoughts of the Day:

Poise, balance, grace and a beautiful carriage emerge naturally from the yoga practice. Stiffness of the joints and limbs, a condition that inhibits poise and good posture are eliminated through stretching.

Krishnamurti, Jan 3:

Words confuse; they are only the outward means of communication; but to commune beyond the noise of words there must be in listening an alert passivity. … It is only in listening one hears the song of words.

Note that Krishnamurti didn’t write for each day of the year; his writings from 1933 to 1968 have been compiled into this Book of Life.

The second day is a tougher day; I felt heavy and reluctant. But I am going to feel bad whether gently stretching or whatever I do today, the only difference is how in touch I am with my body, breath, so may as well do the beneficial thing. And for some moments I actually felt pretty good during yoga this morning. Interesting to pause after each pose and feel the energy and resistance. The energy itself is the guide to what is stuck. I slept till 11 after getting up for the chickens at 0630, so yoga was delayed.

From Hittleman:

The yogis perceived directly that human beings are ‘disjointed’, that is, the body, emotions, mind and spirit pull in their own directions as each in turn demand fulfilment of its own needs and desires. This causes a continual separation and prevents the individual functioning as an integrated whole wherein full potential is realised.

Krishnamurti, Book of Life, 2 Jan:

If you listen through the screen of your desires then you obviously listen to your own voice; you are listening to your own desires. And is there any other form of listening? … Can one put aside all these screens through which we listen, and really listen?