Tense through the shoulders and neck, and in a band around the back, through the shoulder blades or just below. First time sitting in a while. Not able to move very far down the body: in 50 minutes, got as far as the lower back. Stuck. Tight. Fighting a bit. Some despair and tears close by. Resisting, but able to stay in the area of strongest sensation, and this led to the good old shaking head, then flopping forward, then over to one side. Also right hand into a tight fist. I think this shows that it’s best to keep on top of this, to continue to sit, rather than these spells of lying down to meditate instead, which is rather too comfortable and sleepy. Coming back to sitting shows what can be missed by lying down and following the breath. Which is fine in its own way but doesn’t connect and go so deep physically. Been waking up naturally at 5-something, with the light and the birds. After meditation, writing this, and then some yoga, it’s nice to do some long relaxation. ‘I relax the feet, I relax the feet, the feet are relaxed.’ Actually, this is how I began today’s sitting but realised it wasn’t the thing to be doing while sitting. Then I stopped any doing, then I began the arduous (today) movement from head to feet. All inclusive.