Exquisite. The greatest pleasures are ironically when the one seeking and demanding pleasure gets out of the way. True pleasure cannot be controlled or manipulated, encouraged or saught… it comes out of nowhere, in waves of peace and joy and delight. Early on I held fear gently, noticing any doing of anything about it. Gently, gently, yet holding nonetheless. Later when I realised I was kind of daydreaming I understood that I’d already had a whole night of that and more wasn’t needed or helpful, even if it’s fuzzily pleasant. So I began the listening to sensation throughout the body, from the very crown of the head downwards, and back up, and back down, and then an all-encompassing slow journey back to the crown. Tingles. Blind spots I want to skip over and when I reverse slightly, memories of people of my childhood and youth, popping into my mind. At one point it seemed that the very thinking was from within my skin, as I moved over it, so thought flitted and changed. Fleeting, insubstantial. Substantial beyond comparison is the strength of the body and the growing ecstasy around my belly and base. Thought has nothing on this and I saw that my world was so tiny, the world of control, direction, thought and worry. Not condemnatory very small but factually very small. There’s something much much more, beyond, and it’s clear I don’t have very much of a clue what is really going on here. Yet it feels good, true, and something worth exploring, even if ‘I’ cannot. Get out of the way and let.