Journal 17 June 2013

Healthy mind: meditation daily, clear and rational thinking, awareness throughout the day.
Healthy body: yoga often, structural integrity exercises, non-impact exercise, whole foods without meat or dairy. No alcohol, no drugs. Not a prohibition.
Healthy emotions: in touch with the heart, long term relationship with a good woman, resolution of long term stuckness.

I’m feeling a powerful combination of all three these days, with a strong sense of something like spirit. I won’t say spirituality, nor do I now what ‘a spirit’ is yet I can say something like spirit. And with it comes and amazing sense of freedom. With the ability to reject cleanly that which isn’t freedom. To be healthy in any respect, reject cleanly that which isn’t healthy. Obvious really. There’s no limits to health.

Yoga workshop at the weekend and then the usual Monday evening class. Me and the ladies. All back body work; I don’t think I’ve ever worked the back of the legs so strongly, yet in a safe way. Can I touch my toes? No. Doesn’t matter. Yoga isn’t achievement, it’s bringing awareness to where there was none. Feeling stronger than ever at 42.

Drove C to the station for the start of an 11 day trip to Italy and Greece. We’re not often apart for so long. Departures and goodbyes help to bring out a lot: jealousy, envy, loss, attachment, fake freedom. After a long conversation last night and some tears today – “goodbye, darling” – I realised that I don’t need to be her keeper, and that freedom doesn’t have to be outside of commitment. And I can receive her love more deeply.

A friend just back from 10-day Vipassana in Herefordshire. We shared experiences for a long time over lunch. I can’t wait to go again in October – such a valuable opportunity, to sit down, shut up, watch and learn.

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