Meditation Journal – Day 14

Vipassana Meditation Day 14

am 1hr

Finding that it’s important to be as total as possible in this practice, to include all of me in awareness and when being aware. Otherwise it seems to become yet another neurotic activity and instead of attention, it’s easy to suppress, warp, distort. And this meditation is all about things as they are. So it’s the attention itself that is as important as what is being attended to. And when it comes down to it, there isn’t much difference between the two. Yet the partial attention is actually ‘things as they are’, so you can’t fight for totality as that’s another game.

Such an ache within the face today. I say within because it’s underneath the features of the face; the deep muscles of the forehead, eye sockets, cheeks, and again into the lips, tight in strange expressions that feel like they’ll be stuck forever, and then the thousand needles come, or hot ashes or sparks within the lips, until at such intensity it begins to soften. The right arm continues to go crazy. All the computer work, I suppose, and years of holding and protecting and doing.

pm 1hr

Thought to meditate in the bath. Not the best idea. Especially with a damp face. How about that for a test of annicca as water dried in my nostrils, ears!? Supreme itches! No scratching! And then the warmth lulled me into a snoozy snooze. And later, having not moved for 45 mins, the back of my head hard on the ceramic. And then getting too cool. So no, don’t meditate in the bath. Although it was fun discovering that arms resting by my legs was actually an effort; they really wanted to float.

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