Get out of the way. You can’t do anything as you are the very one holding the status quo. Even when watching there can be an ever subtler pushing in a direction, towards pain, away from pain, a wanting that is hidden in the looking. Get out of the way and the scenario changes. How to get out of the way? It’s a step in a completely different direction to the directions you are used to going in. It might not even be a direction or a step at all; more like a negation into oneself. ‘Yourself’ turns inside out, back in on itself. A complete flip in another dimension altogether. Then the natural awareness is motive- and direction-free. Careless yet full of attentiveness. The ‘me’, the ‘you’ is so very overrated. The ‘me’ we think is helping is not helping very much at all. Going beyond is not to where we think it is. The beyond is so very close by, but you can’t see it or go there in your current form. Wrong vessel, wrong map. Abandon ship.
Body wracked with tension as if held in the very cells and bones. Nausea. Dizziness. Meeting each sensation as an equal, and despite the intensity, seeing if it is possible not to hate or fight it, even the worse things. Seemingly entering into the heart of things, via the body. The mind reacting to the body, choosing action based on feeling. Is it possible to uncover and meet everything head on and so learn?
The way to peace is through the trouble. When there’s no avoiding it any longer, it becomes you, and then the trouble changes into something else entirely, is understood without an understander and is over. And one finds oneself in a new state, on ground beyond where one stood minutes before. Yet minutes have lost their meaning and so has standing. All is new and peaceful and waves of joy wash residues away. And then from a direction unseen and unknown, another energy comes, further transforming and establishing an order unplanned. None of this involves will or effort. Resting in peace is not for the dead.