Journal 4 June 2013

Woke at 0545 thinking it must be near 8.

I awoke from dreams of work issues, not having enough information or information changing and a decision nethertheless is needed.

How I am reacting on waking will become my day.

Sitting still for some time allows it to be different.

Then the day can proceed from there, rather from the slightly panicky feeling on waking as thought catches hold of the past or the imagined future.

Plenty of time for sitting quietly and for a quick run through of the structural integrity exercises, after a lap bath.

Bright sunshiny morning.

Where it happens:

Meditation corner

Cessation of steering means that which was being avoided, by habit really, comes to the fore.

What is it?

Some nausea, an internal giddiness.

Strong sensation of the front of my face, a barrier between the world and me.

Poor face, that’s not what it’s for.

Then it began undoing in a series of odd expressions and tension release.

Look at people’s faces.

How we are inside is right there for the world to see.

The masking doesn’t quite work.

At work, going through the weekly-published memoirs of Mary Zimbalist, Krishnamurti’s assistant, adding to our database relevant information about Krishnamurti talks. Beyond this it’s a travelogue, basically, with hints as to his extraordinary nature.

Lunch in the sun again, with a Korean student who adores Samsung. “Best company in the world!” We ate rice and tofu burgers. Walk after lunch to Brockwood Bottom.

Which looks like this:

Brockwood Bottom

And is really as far as you can go before Brockwood is no longer Brockwood but Joan’s Acre or Riversdown.

Drowsy in the afternoon.

Baked potatoes for supper.

Then to C’s in Alresford for the night.

Finished The Reluctant Yogi which was more factual and less anecdotal than I’d hoped.

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