Yesterday went so smoothly compared to today. Why is sitting still the hardest thing to do? How long have I been on the run? It seems like forever. Today I was reluctant to sit, easier to just carry on with a normal day. But sit I did, and sit I will continue to do, no matter what. It has to be done whatever the weather. Stormy days are no excuse. I am not being tough about it, just stating what is necessary. Quite why it is necessary I am not sure. I don’t know what will happen, but I feel like it is the most important thing to do in this day and age, just to stop for a while each day and see what I am up to. There seems to be an endless supply of ammunition for thinking – all these memories, all those image and films and TV and whatever else. Of course, it is not to remove all this somehow, but maybe to allow the usual reaction to have a conscious alternative. I don’t know, I’m making this up. My heard hurt in the evening sitting, intensity ant the front so that there was nothing to do but feel it. No choice.