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Sleep 82%

Woke around five and listened to the Swedish yoga nidra by Swami Janakananda. Actually not sure if he’s Swedish but he has an ashram there. It’s a good 45 minute recording that includes chakras and always drops me into deep relaxation and undoing of themes just below the surface. 

Snoozed a little after and got up at 0650 to sit.

Again the contrast between the morning and evening sit. Fresh and rested there’s a natural ease in the mornings, an openness and readiness for the new. A new dawn a new day… 

There’s also lingering sleep and daydreams await to take me back into an upright sleep on the cushion. Yet that’s happening all day, little thought-dream loops we take as normal. By sitting so long I am learning their nature, particularly the stickier more obsessive thoughts usually involving  the women in my life. I realised towards the end those thoughts are coming from the heart where small ‘fissures’ could be felt almost physically and I realised how I skirt around these sensations. Staying nearer in curiosity there was a sudden release of thinking and just being with the heart and how it felt. Profound little stories told as sensations lessened, emotions released.

In this close proximity there is healing and renewal, as long as nothing is pushed. Effort strengthens what is already stuck. Instead, allowing the physical sensation to unattach the psychological hooks. This takes place deeply in strange symbolic form.

Worked from home today as the network guys moved to my office. Lunch outside with Michael and some new mature students, everyone here now for the new term with students arriving next week.

Talking with a Dorset friend much of the evening, about changes of lifestyle, a time of reflection for her, my course and where we are at. Proper open talking. 

So only a 20 minute sit tonight. Sometimes my old mantra pops into my head and immediately there’s a deepening as thought quietens. I rarely repeat it these days but I don’t fight it when it comes. Very occasionally I choose to use it a minute or so. 

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