Late to sleep after the evening out and slept until gone 8. A troubled night due to eating late, lots of wheat and the thought that I’ve upset someone. I find that hard, knowing my decisions have an impact on others’ lives. I am finally getting used to having a positive impact but when the impact is upsetting I fear anger and retribution. Also a concern for S who called during supper sounding not themselves.
AM 20 minutes
Same themes, sticking with deep breathing letting out little mournful sounds on long exhales. Suddenly the caring image of my first tutor came to mind and I was touched by her goodness and faith in me. Short session, getting late for work.
After work hanging out with S who is going through a hard time, hardly eating or sleeping for days now. We talked for a long time and I encouraged him to have a green smoothie. He left in better shape.
PM 20 minutes
A good reset at the end of the day. Towards the end noticing the ever shifting nature of the mind and began just to let it happen, no fight. In doing so a stillness developed behind or beyond all of the movement.
They’re doing a lovely job on the dining room floor at the school: