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Sleep quality 77%

Sleepy after yesterday’s bodywork and waking in the slump of a sleep cycle.

Bodywork: It was wonderful and excruciating and rare to be touched so deeply. I was encouraged to allow any sounds to be expressed on each exhale. Most often this was deep moans but sometimes it turned into growls, sobs and even swearing. Somewhere at the base of the thumbs, I let out a “Jesus!” And she said, yes that’s why we call this one the Jesus point. I didn’t know what to do with the pain. Good pain. How can we be carrying this with us?

The session was a combination of deep massage and pressure on what I suppose are acupressure points and even working on the bones. After the intense work it got gentler and when she worked in the heart area I felt great love, for her that moment and for everything. I wept a little more then.

She said it may take some time to return to balance as the body was still be working on healing itself, triggered by the contact with those deep points, and this is no doubt why I feel sleepy and a bit too relaxed to get going this morning.

AM 45 minutes

Sitting and scanning the body often feels to me like a massage, but instead of physical touch it’s a inner feeling of sensations, all and any sensation on all parts of the body. I love this holistic aspect of meditating this way.

I felt great during the day, and found myself instinctive taking breaks as needed instead of ploughing on through getting fizzier as the hours pass. Little resets. 

Lunch under the tree with a man from Lincolnshire, a county I know nothing about. He worked London busses in the 70s and spoke of how you could pause around the corner letting the bus in front take most of the passengers and hence work. Also A&H were there with their new baby along with a visiting girl from Barcelona. On walking I found a natural smile had spread across my face for no particular reason. I then enjoyed beating back the brambles in the cricket pitch wood.

Yoga after work, 15 mins on neck and shoulders with an online video. Not sure if I’ve posted this before but it’s great for getting in there:

She’s pretty good, apart from the tuts.

PM 45 minutes 

A brief resistance to stopping chatting at 21:00 but mostly I wanted to return to the cushion. Deep breathing getting more fluid and smooth during the first 20 mins, then inhabiting the body deeply and closely feeling sensation without struggle to focus. 

Workers are sanding the floor at the school in the dining room and sitting room:

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