“Reality is but a group hunch” – Unknown.

That means our own realities can be changed readily and therefore the shared reality is affected. To change reality, our own reality can be understood, accepted, realised, as is.


A Universe

It’s a curious thing, the universe within. I am only just beginning to sense it. Really, just beginning after 37 years. Only when something is aching or something is hurt or tight do I feel the body and its insides, when some food has upset me or its uncomfortable in my head. To feel within when none of things are happening is something else. Something completely different. I want to explore this curiosity further and further.

At one stage of relaxation I was a keen apprentice, suddenly, learning the art of relaxing a thigh. From whom I was learning I do not know. The feeling was at the edge of thought and the edge of dreams, where the two meet. A little snore escaped.

I awoke early, 0545 after a good rest after a light supper – C made some wheat free bread rolls. I rested until ten to seven then began, after a wash. I’ve gone back to the beginning, with Basic Yoga for Dummies on video. I’ll write more about this recording later, but for now it’s enough to say that it is gentle enough, progressive enough, simple enough to keep me coming back.

Connecting with the body

I’ve been settling into a fairly routine yoga practice, seeing if I can get up each workday early enough for 50 mins or so of stretching. This last week I added a longer relaxation at the end, first 30 mins which wasn’t enough so now it’s up to 40. I need that amount of time to go through all the main parts of the body: I relax my toes, I relax my toes, the toes are relaxed, over the course of three breaths. By the end it is it very apparent where the tensions are, the stiffness, and also those parts I try to avoid. Also I am left with the curious notion of ‘relaxing the relaxer’. Who’s relaxing who? The real connection and contact comes when I stay with the part of the body for the three breaths without moving to the next or skipping off into thinking about something, or some little dream. Around the shoulders and neck this happens often, and that is where I am tightest. The lower back too, although this is getting easier. Actually, no part of the body I entirely stayed with today, being a little sleepy. My response to the alarm clock was: Oh, it’s Wednesday, midweek, it would be symmetrical to rest in bed today, sleep an hour and a half more. This is easy to do, any excuse, and this is what I’ve been doing for much of 10+ years, skipping days, weeks, months. The gentle aim is to establish a regular weekday practice.

More Conchords

I discovered by reading the excellent The Word magazine that

1) They are making a new series. I hope it has more of they and less of him who’s their manager.
2) Bret was in Lord of the Rings. His unnamed character is now known as Figwit, from Frodo Is Great, Who Is That?! He can be seen here :)
3) That’s it.

Quiet room and then a dance

Sitting in the quiet room after work I used what I learnt in post-yoga relaxation to ease into my body. This sets up a different quality than the struggling and fighting that normally happens the first minutes of sitting. Relaxing down into my trunk, shoulders beginning to tingle, whistles in my head, future OK, past OK, I sensed I was waiting. For what? Doesn’t matter what, just that I was waiting. So it was natural to find the source of this waiting feeling, and it was like following a magnet, a repelling magnet among an organic, non-metallic body – my own. And once sourced, the waiting ceased and a new level of stillness drew near.

A short walk home, stars bright, a car being directed in the lane by a French lady, then home and in the kitchen, my girl making supper, and we danced to Be Good Tanyas – The Littlest Birds. First time I’d heard them. In her arms.


The direction taken, being taken, if there is such thing as direction at all, is inward. The outside I will leave to those enamoured by the world. Of course, I remain in the world and appreciate it, its nature, its technology, its people, however, I choose not to involve myself beyond the essentials of food, shelter, contact. This is not a withdrawal, it’s a natural step, that there is nothing else to do but understand myself, err, feel myself. It’s not inward opposed to outward; it’s the only way this time. And it’s not a self-obsessed trip up one’s ass.