All week I got up and did the yoga, same as Tuesday. The best part of course is the relaxation. A couple of ‘visions’ came, or feeling/visions, or I don’t know what. One was in the Victorian alleyway behind my old flat, buildings all around, and suddenly a beam of light hit me from the right and there was a gap through the buildings, which wasn’t there before, and I could see clearly through to the common beyond. I had a great feeling of  s p a c e . The other is more vague now, but with much impact. A door opened suddenly, like a door into an attic and a red clocked girl was visible, for a brief second. These weren’t like dreams or imaginings, more like they came from the part of the body I was in touch with. I maintain that the body itself holds memories, in very specific places, and not just the mind. But none of these seemed like a memory… something else. I will explore this.

After that deep relaxation, which now takes around 40 minutes (need to make more time – that’s where the ‘work’ takes place and that’s where I want to be) it was time for some breakfast. Martin sent me a vid of some buffalo and lions (and a croc). It was stunning. The lions catch the smallest buffalo then the adults come back to rescue it. Adam had stumbled me a vid of some Japanese settling in to a massage chair then suddenly they are being propelled, in the chair, down the ski slope. I can’t describe it funnily, but it’s here. I cried with laughter and my skull hurt.

Work: emails then the first business meeting in a month or so. Everyone back from holidays, then a short video then a dialogue about why we don’t change. I ask a question; people answer. I am not asking the question to get an answer but that’s how people respond. Enquiry isn’t about answers.

Lunch at the school in the sun, rota (washing up) then Adam and I helped Ashna move the last of her things from Dean to the school. We ripped a little hole in the Renault’s headrest with her bookshelf. I don’t know her well so it was good to be able to do something together, to meet her a bit.

No time for a sleep but had a cooling dip in the pool with Caroline, swimming underwater for a few mins.

Usually I verify transcripts of Krishnamurti in the afternoon and today I did it for about an hour, preferring to finish some email queries before the weekend. One of the trustees came in while I was laid on the floor with my legs up the shelving, having a little break, to ask me something. ‘Shall I get up?’ ‘No, stay where you are.’ We then had a conversation with me on the floor. After a while it felt too odd so I got up.

After work, to the school for supplies. We cooked buckwheat pancakes, which we have a couple of times a week for supper. On emptying the compost bin a bird flew into Doug’s window and was lying twitching and writhing on the ground. Antonio said it was just in shock and would be fine.

The rest of the eve I watched E09 of John From Cincinnati while Caroline blogged and browsed. Then some usual checks: flickr, boing boing, facebook, etc, and then this.

To the weekend….



Woke around 0700. Shower

Did some yoga, from Sivananda book: Kapalabati, neck, shoulders, eyes, lion, four rounds of sun salutation, leg lifts and squeezes, then half an hour being a corpse. “I relax my toes, I relax my toes. My toes are relaxed.” Up through the whole body, then the whole thing again, focusing on the insides, then lastly, the brain itself, and then there is very little left to relax. I feel it may be an every-deepening phenomenon. By then Caroline was getting up, around 0815.

Made breakfast of apple, half orange, half grapefruit, banana, dash of Innocent smoothie, two spoons yoghurt, some mixed nuts and seeds, Crispy Rice.

Browsed through emails, news, facebook, flickr. To work.

Answered some emails, enquired to  Watkins Books about the value of some Gurdjieff books someone donated. £80 for three books. I’ll take them up to London some time. Scanned some book covers Yojun had entered in the database. Just Arne and I in the office today.

Lunch at home with Caroline: Omlette with yellow pepper and some carrots, sat on the doorstep in the bright warm sun.

Sleep for half an hour. To work.

Finished 690909, Public Dialogue at Brockwood, sat in the conservatory then sitting room to proof read. 19 pages that didn’t really go anywhere, but on re-reading its amazing how he holds such scattered input from the audience together.

Home through the rain, both of us under the raincoat. Thinking of swimming in the rain, but didn’t. facebook and washing up while baked spuds cooked. Supper at the table, pause before.

Watched Oliver Twist (Polanski) in bed together, plus a few of the extras. Sad tale; don’t find it uplifting. Well made and great sets and props. Some ropey child acting early on. Seeing some making-of makes me appreciate the art more. It’s easy to criticise.

Alarm set for 0700, going to sleep.