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Category Archives: Life
Strive and strife are one
If there is becoming, there is pain. It’s a law. But I pretend it isn’t. The subtle levels of changing, of striving, of becoming. I pretend I don’t know what I am becoming, so pretend that I am not doing … Continue reading
Posted in Journal, Life
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Giving myself some time
One week of the year gone already. No wonder a month, a year, a decade, a life can go by so fast. In the words of John Hughes (as spoken by Ferris Bueller): Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t … Continue reading
No conspiracy is needed
Back to work after having Friday off and fewer hours worked the rest of last week. Vish rang to say he has a new technician lined up for the video project, which is great news after months of delays. He … Continue reading
Posted in Journal, Life
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Overwork, stress, modern life, out of the now.
We live in a world, she tells me, where “nothing is enough”. Driven by debt, we need to work harder all the time. Crushed by overwork, our relationships begin to break down. Robbed of the healing balm of relationships, we … Continue reading
Posted in Life, Links
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Facebook Questionnaire (Yes or No)
I quite like answering questions. And these are really easy. Kissed more than one of your Facebook friends? Yes Been arrested? Yes Kissed someone you didn’t like? No Slept all day long? No Fallen asleep at work/school? No Held a … Continue reading
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EA Sports Active; Wise Blood
Second day using EA Sports Active after work. I’m doing the 30 day challenge, on easy setting. It’s good. Today I was sweating, and yet it doesn’t feel too challenging. I took the rock music out which was annoying me.. … Continue reading
Posted in Health, Journal, Life
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What is it one feels like doing?
Here’s a video I put together from images online to accompany a recording of Krishnamurti at Brockwood in 1969. Of course it’s an unofficial video, not part of my work to preserve the archive authentic works. But I wanted to … Continue reading
Posted in Life, Video
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The dead-end street – 1998
Change is on my mind. It is happening inside me and I feel it cruising through my head. Tingles. An incredible awareness that will guide me into… what? I just don’t know. It doesn’t matter. There is no need to … Continue reading
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The End of Zurich Insurance – 1998
Oh my god, this is so outrageously boring I think I might die. It has been a long day and I have to stay for yet another hour. I do not want to be here. Why have I been here … Continue reading
Posted in Journal, Life
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At Durley – 1996
I have now moved to Durley. It is quite a change already. I am alone in the house now, apart from two cats. One pays more attention and is one the chest of drawers licking its rear left leg. Jennifer … Continue reading
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The End of Chelsea Road – 1996
Chris. Letter. Things. House. Wrong. Mess. Broken table. No lounge. Moods. Negativity. New place. New people. Scary. Why? Do it. Give notice. Sell stereo. Sell speakers. Tough. No money. Sell CDs. Miss them? One or two. Keep them. Which? No, … Continue reading
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Things get broken, people get rude – 1996
I have decided to stop drinking alcohol. Reasons? None that really can be argued. Mainly, it throws me off centre for a few days and I don’t like it. Also health reasons, also money reasons, also I don’t particularly like … Continue reading
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Taking care – 1997
It’s 01:53 and I feel quite sorted. I know what makes me happy now. And that, generally speaking, is taking care over things. I’d rather be ‘square’ and happy than trying to be something else. This care extends to clothes … Continue reading
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What is perfect, anyway? – 1995
Pretty messed up today. Smoked loads of hash last night and too many beers. Felt like shit, mentally and physically. I have been trying to reach a kind of perfect mental state and it has been driving me crazy. That … Continue reading
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I am not in common with anyone – 1996
I feel so differently to those around me. Went to Chris’s band’s 4th gig [Virgin Soldiers], at Docs. I filmed it for them. Didn’t want to go. People getting drunk, loud rock music, etc, etc. Came back when it had … Continue reading
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Disillusioned By Society – 1996
The season is changing to autumn, although today was most warm. I am on holiday from Zurich [Insurance] for the first time. I am hoping that last night I took tobacco for the last time. I don’t intend to drink … Continue reading
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Once upon a time in 1995
Plaice, computer game, Loz, Piers, Smoky Bear’s Picnic, Jenty, pub, Brandons, smoking, theories, full yet hungry, Chris, bad moods, depression, white lines, mana, flying carpets, energy, sleep, work, quit smoking (both) immediately. A weekend of extreme highs and near extreme … Continue reading
Posted in Journal, Life, Music
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Diary Two – Big Black Notebook
After the diary of the trip round Europe in 1990, the next one is more of a notebook, a big black notebook. There are no dates, but it covers the period where I began to experiment with a change of … Continue reading
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Week 4 – Moving Toward Balance
After week 3′s backbends with accompanying energy raising, week 4 was altogether more calming, steadying and relaxing. The focus was on twists, learning reclined twists, kneeling, crossed-legged, open body and cross-body. I like twists. You stop, you breath, subtle changes … Continue reading
Posted in Life, Yoga
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Night
I’m wide awake, it’s (very early) morning. Woke at a time before it seemed, dreams over and mind clear. Hours and hours of the night, with music, clarity coming, lost, let go and returning; a strange rhythm not of my … Continue reading
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