Falling Awake

London Underground

2008-08-03T09:55:42Z

Whilst undergoing something of a detox weekend after a holiday in Sweden (rich foods, wine and whisky) I've been watching some TV and films. BBC4 had a 'Tube' night about the London Underground. I've always been part-time fascinated by the underground and it history (the oldest in the world and the first to go electric). The styling of the stations and graphic design, along with the map is unique and interesting. Here is a video extract about the tube map by Harry Beck, from BBC's Design Classics. One downfall of forsaking geographical accuracy: those who don't know London will take the tube from eg Queensway to Bayswater, taking at least 10 minutes whereas on foot it takes a minute!

John Lennon Animated Interview

2008-08-01T18:04:47Z

I love these kind of animations, juxtaposing image with word. I'll make some of my own sometime, with photos. For now, here's a great one, with wise words from Mr Lennon (who I haven't really paid attention to for about ten years, but this really makes sense... except perhaps the peace idealism, but he's on the right track)

Bob Ross Painting

2008-07-18T20:49:49Z

I really enjoyed watching and listening to this fellow. 25 minutes flew by!

Bob Ross - Deep Forest Lake

Life Through Time

2008-07-16T20:49:42Z

No answers here, but a stunning visual representation of life.

Chithurst Walk

2008-07-13T18:10:47Z

We started at Iping Church in West Sussex, heading east towards Chithurst. In the first field behind the church, with horse trial paraphernalia in the middle and close cut grass, a dog joined us, running around and barking excitedly. He came with us as far as the stream whereby he stood in the water waiting for us to do something that usually happens when he stands in the stream.

By now the sun was out. The next field, just before Chithurst was horsey two, with new cresote fences enclosing thoughbreds, one with a very young pony.

We passed through Chithust just south of the Monastery, heading northe through an orchard of a variety of tall narrow trees, maybe being grown for towns and cities, then into a lovely meadow with views of the South Downs. The soil around here was very sandy, the paths being like those to a beach.

Then it was into the woods, Wick Wood then Hammer Wood. There was a garden open for charity so we had a look but it was more of a garden party, with creepy jazz music and men in cream suits cooking meat. We about turned, haunted by the music through the dark woods, floowing the steep bank. Very old trees. The last of the wood was managed by the monastery, where monks and nuns sit in solitude in huts among the trees. We left the woods where the nuns have their accommodation. Tibetan prayer flags in an English wood.

Then it was up the dark sunken lane and back into the sun, to follow the Lane back to Iping, home of the Invisible Man by H G Wells.

Cheesefoot Head Walk

2008-07-06T18:39:16Z

Not a 'Head Walk', whatever that is, but Cheesefoot Head is a viewpoint at the western end of the South Downs, close to Winchester.

I parked the scooter in the small carpark, after a very windy ride. The gales were strong up on the downs but that was the point, to feel the wind high up, warm on a sunny July morning.

I headed south through field of wheat, swaying and flowing in the wind, switching directions, oceanic. At least, I think it was wheat.

It was an open walk, with great views

Sometimes poppies among the grain

Then crossed the A272, heading north along Rodfield Lane, before picking up the South Downs Way, feeling like I was in the grain belt of England, or America

The tone changed as I came upon a field being converted into some kind of tank playground, exposing the chalk beneath

Then it was into the trees to return through Temple Valley to Cheesfoot, with views over Chilcomb down

Spiritual Warfare

2008-06-25T19:38:34Z

"Heaven, salvation, compassion, mindfulness, self-awareness, inner tranquillity, peace on earth, goodwill to all men,; these are all safe, no mess, no fuss, spiritual objectives, undemanding, low impact, easy on the pocketbook. ... They don't conflict with our current conditions and can be easily integrated into our busy lives. .... Our spiritual itch is adequately scratched. No one gets hurt or does anything crazy; certainly no one unplugs themselves from the great hive and wanders off on their own." Jed McKenna

Car running on water?

2008-06-20T06:13:26Z

Japanese Water car

Thought

2008-05-22T07:22:07Z

So you are thinking, or, there is thought, doing its ahead and behind thing, going over the past, planning ahead. Then you realise this and there's a resistance, as if thought is bad somehow. The tendency then is to stay in that slightly guilty feeling for a while, thought having been stepped upon by the 'no, you shouldn't be thinking.' So the 'shouldn't be thinking' feeling is the master for a while, but thought will come back somehow. That's the tendency.

How about continuing to think despite the feeling that you shouldn't be thinking? Then you get a much more interesting situation, a game, a play between the two thoughts, more equal. The original thought cannot exactly do what it would do without the 'shouldn't be thinking', and the 'shouldn't be thinking' doesn't get it's victorious (if slightly guilty and violent) residential.

Then something new can happen because the thought won't 'come up' as it's already up and the no won't 'no' because it's already 'no-ing', and the game will naturally cease after a time, allowing a fresh energy and understanding, awareness.

Thought does not 'come up'. More like 'drives in', but the concept of feeling of it 'entering something' needs to be questioned. Just because it's a common experience doesn't make it true.

Sickness

2008-05-21T07:30:03Z

A lingering sickness, one week now, a nausea close-by, muscles heavy and weak, digesting bubbling, farting, too loose. Spaced mind, sometimes not knowing quite where I am. Taking it easy, gently, but still stretching. I cannot stay this side of the sickness. More open to talking of my past, more open to how I'm feeling.

Stress Relief

2008-05-13T07:24:33Z

This morning I followed a video from Yoga Zone. If the New Zealand video was gay yoga this is definitely hot LA woman yoga. It's led by a German-sounding guy with two leotarded yoga instructors demonstrating. It's called Stress Relief and Conditioning. Relief. Evaporation. Release. Opening. Unwinding. It's a little exertive at some points but generally these words are what it's about. Since yesterday I have also been sitting still for 10-15 mins twice a day. At the end of yoga and after work in the evening sun. Breathing is key to stress relief. It becomes very apparent when breathing fully is forced. To investigate a natural breath as I stretch. Awareness of breathing, awareness of stress and tension, leads to new possibility. Awareness is not tense. Watching is tense. A little snoring during lie down.

Sunday Walk - Salt Hill

2008-05-11T16:43:53Z

A bright sunny Sunday, a scooter ride over Old Winchester Hill and beyond into new territory to me. Here's the map:

After passing the mysterious, deserted, HMS Mercury, barbed wire and cold war, I parked the Vespa at Hyden cross and set off east along the South Downs Way. A shaded path along the edge of Hyden Wood before turning north, downhill towards East Meon. True Faith by New Order in my head: I feel so extraordinary, something's got a hold on me, I get this feeling I'm in motion, a sudden sense of liberty.

The path leads down through sheep pastures to the source of the River Meon, springs forming shaded ponds. Just before that, a little dog ran out of its garden all self-important and barky, giving me a nip on the ankle, then ran off. "Little bastard!" I shouted loud in anger.

Then across the lane and up Small Down, learning a lesson from a few years back to take the easy way up - it rises 100m in about that - Small, yes, but steep. Beautiful views to East Meon.

Up on Salt Hill, paragliders floating in the blue, model gliders, hangliders lined up on the ground.

Then back past the gloom of Mercury, no doubt waiting to be redeveloped, to the Sustainability Centre, holding The Hampshire Green Fair. Traditional crafts, games for kids, woodworkers, yurts and tepees, a band playing in a hot tent. I bought a wooden heart for Caroline and some Romany clothes pegs. Later I learnt that the nearby Leydene Park is the last stately home built in England, in the 1920s.

Swimming and yoga

2008-05-09T07:24:49Z

I'm always heavier the morning after a swim (or surf) session, muscles a bit worn and stiff. This makes me reluctant to stretch although it is actually what I need, to elongate and stretch out the physical work of yesterday.

Grumpy on waking I didn't want to do anything, including go back to sleep, rebelling against my life and its contents. Fed up with the whole thing. This fed up combined with natural awareness leads to understanding that all the things outwardly and inwardly will not satisfy. I can plot and plan and design a life that should lead to contentment and happiness, think about 'good things' but it is all clunky old thinking, clutching at straws and going back round the loop.

It's another warm day. The pool at the school is being filled after Francisco and Julia painted it yesterday. I am going to check the outdoor pool in Petersfield; maybe go over the weekend.

Peace

One month later

2008-05-08T07:31:57Z

One month later and it's summer. The snow a freak dream of late spring. The sun wakes me in the mornings, pheasants and ducks in the garden, a sqwark and that half-quacky thing ducks do. Bright days, shorts and t-shirts.

The latest yoga video is from yoga.org.nz and I've been following it for five days straight. Not following, exactly, but working with it. I called it 'gay yoga' at first - two buff guys in shorts sitting together showing the poses. Gay or not, it's a very good routine, strengthening and opening. My arms look like I've just been on a surf trip and the tensions in my neck are dropping away, everything changing. The narrators sound like the yogic Flight of the Conchords, that deadpan monotone understated New Zealand speak. I like it; there's nothing to get annoyed about like most yoga videos.

Before the squence there is a cool section explaining yoga practice by dropping blue ink drops into a bowl of water. There is no noticeable effect at first, even after a week, After a month the bowl is light blue and after a year a deep blue. I am not sure what deep blue equates to... enthused by prana perhaps.

Lots of energy for insights and revelations these life-affirming days.

April Snow

2008-04-06T19:24:39Z

Feeling meaningless today and kinda mean, not so keen. Took a while to wake up, which I did out in the snow because it had snowed in the night and the thing to do when there is snow is go outside and walk about and play with it a bit. Which we did. It took about 20 minutes in the cold to wake up enough to enjoy it. This was after trying to roll snowballs which didn't work so well because the snow wouldn't stick to itself. Although it was crunchy underfoot, that satisfying grinding snow sound, it was too powdery to stick to its own ball(s). Farid was out on the south lawn making some kind of snow crop circles into a mountain. I put what ball I had on top of his mountain. Jerome was on his way to work and Dagmar was making huge bubbles out of her window on the first floor of the school. Then I was awake more and we walked around the grove. I liked pulling branches back making them lose some snow and making snowfall again. Rabbit tracks in the snow and cold looking spring flowers. Then, back home, I showered with one of the new shower smoothies and went back to bed and slept till lunchtime. By then it was a proper spring day and the snow was 3/4 melted, dripping off the trees as I walked to the school. I sat outside with Christophe and Francisco who talked about LPG engines. After, Christophe told me border crossings go much smoother if you drive an estate. Sensible, trustworthy people drive estates. In the afternoon I don't know what I did. Felt meaningless and did meaningless things on the internet I guess. Oh, uploaded some photos to flickr. Watched the video in the last post which gave a little meaning, took an afternoon walk round the Inwoods loop and then listened to the first half of Russell Brand's show from last night. Funny and probably offensive bit about 'tit milk'. Right now we are about to watch 2 Days in Paris. Except Caroline is putting out her homemade lanterns first.